The Process at the moment is radio treatment and yesterday started on the steroids to try and get the size down of the tumor. It is working, as the lump seems to be shrinking, even before the dexamethasone. The roids are keeping me awake, which means I am getting a lot done at night as I am buzzing.
Today, the elders of the church I go to prayed for me for healing. To hear these dear friends pray is so refreshing, powerful and expectant. We are all at the point where we don’t want to settle for moderate improvements in my health, or in mediocre answers to prayer generally. We believe God can do amazing things, and we expect that. We want to be blown away in the same way we read about in the accounts of healing in the bible, where people were blown away. He is the same God. People sicker than me, sometimes dead, sometimes deadish, were healed. He is the same God. People who didn’t really get a choice, or had no pre-requisites, or sought healing on behalf of others, they were healed. He is the same God.
The Promise lies in the hope that we have in an all-powerful Creator and Healer. We are promised that healing happens in the name of Jesus. This is what I want. I am not interested in the healing that can be attributed to the apparent lack of God stepping in, like when someone dies they may say they received the ‘ultimate healing’. No, sorry, not good enough. I can, however, understand that people would desire healing in this way, and pray for it, or appreciate it when it comes. The reason why I feel I need healing is to be removed from discomfort, loss, grief, pain, physical breakdown etc. If we didn’t crave to be removed from these things, we wouldn’t need healing. So when I pray, and when others pray, we are expecting tangible, miraculous, God-glorifying healing. No tumors, no spiking paraproteins, no kidney failure, no broken bones, no 2.5 years, no need for remission, no need for ongoing tests, no having to eat in the hospital cafeteria. This is what healing looks like for me, and I believe God’s promises hold water. I still wonder what it would take to have them hold water for everyone, in all circumstances, on all occasions.
